An Old Love Story

Have you ever felt like you
were the only person in the world
Not in a snobbish way but in a way
that you look around and
wonder where everyone went.
You ask yourself what the hell
happened it was just
last month you turned 40.wasn't it...

You can't be looking at 70 surely not.
That was the fastest 30 years you ever lived.
Looking back I recall a man
I loved with all my heart.
We had 7 years of loving and fighting each
other before the Lord called him home.

I'll never forget the evening he passed.
I was holding his hand when he drew his
last breath and I begged the doctors
to save him but it was not to be.
I now realize how selfish I was to
want to keep him here,
cancer is not an easy death.

Two years later I fell in love again.
Unfortunately he was an alchoholic
that lasted 10 years.
We had our good times and bad but mostly
good until he developed a brain tumor.
I knew something was wrong when he
became abusive and short tempered.

This man that had worshipped me for
10 years had become someone I didn't know.
At the hospital they found he needed
open heart surgery the tumor
had not been found yet.

I remember the day of his surgery,
a nurse came out to tell me he was
in recovery and that I shouldn't be
alarmed when I saw him that I should
expect to see some swelling.
Well when I saw him I was shocked,
never in my wildest would I have dreamed
he would be so swelled that
I wasn't sure it was him.

It was 2 days before he recognized me. It wasn't long after his heart surgery
that we split up with a little help from his mother.

Well that's part of my story
as I look forward to my 70th birthday
and I don't feel 70 in my heart.
I feel like a teenager.
I want to fall in love again
and feel the butterflies in my tummy
like I used to,
But that's another chapter for another time.
© 2012 Bonnie Ray
(All rights reserved)

May You always be covered by God's pure love!